94 Years of Knowledge | Nerd Health - Health & Fitness Sport

Final week, I flew to Massachusetts to go to my 94-year grandmother within the hospital.

Let me inform you about this superb girl.

Barbara, Auntie B, or Gramma to us grandkids, was born in 1930 to first-generation Newfoundlanders.

(No marvel I like the music of Alan Doyle (and Nice Large Sea), it’s in my DNA!)

Gramma was a preschool instructor for 22 years and has been an energetic member in her group for her total life. She was a heck of a quilter and helped launch a number of quilting initiatives through the years. She volunteered on the Council on Growing older. She typically drove for Meals on Wheels too, “delivering meals to the previous individuals” (as she known as it), which she did nicely into her 80s!

Throughout previous visits to Massachusetts, I’d swing by Gramma’s for a day, habitually checking my telephone, typically distracted with some unimportant work thought that occupied my mind. I believe having recognized her my total life, I simply had this thought “Gramma has at all times been right here, and Gramma will at all times be right here.”

Thankfully, I stumbled upon an historic Japanese idea that helped me acknowledge and course right this sample. It allowed all of my current visits with Gramma to be decidedly completely different.

Ichi-go Ichi-e 一期一会

There’s an idea relationship again to Japanese tea ceremonies within the 1600s known as ichi-go ichi-e:

This interprets to: “one time, one assembly.”

It’s a reminder for us to treasure and embrace every unrepeatable second in time. Regardless of how typically we do one thing or see someone, it’s the solely time that it’s going to really occur this manner, in this second.

This idea can remind us to be extra current.

As a substitute of checking our telephones, we are able to concentrate on the individual or job in entrance of us.
As a substitute of worrying about tomorrow or zoning out, we could be right here now.
As a substitute of going by the motions, we could be a bit extra deliberate with our conduct.

I’ve mirrored so much on Japanese Zen philosophy over the previous few years (see my essay about Wabi-Sabi), and this idea of ichi-go ichi-e has caught with me too.

Which brings me to my journeys to go to Gramma this summer time.

I ended worrying concerning the future or ruminating on the previous, put my telephone down, and simply sat along with her.

I handled every go to as if it was the solely time that I’d get to have that interplay.

I requested her questions on her childhood. I realized that she spent a couple of summers dwelling in a tent with no working water or electrical energy, whereas her father constructed their house together with his personal two arms. And the way a lot she liked it.

She informed me about her teenage years, together with the time she snuck out of the home and bought caught, and needed to sit on the foot of her mother and father mattress till the solar got here up.

I realized extra about my grandfather. She even shared images of her marriage ceremony that I had by no means seen earlier than:

She additionally discovered some images of me and her from manner again within the day!

This one was my favourite:

I returned to Nashville final month, not sure when (or if) I’d get to see her once more.

It nonetheless felt completely different. I had linked with Gramma extra deeply in a couple of visits than I most likely had previously 10 years mixed.

Which brings me to this previous week on the hospital.

Gramma’s Group

Final week, my brother and I drove as much as go to Gramma within the hospital every day.

And every day, a revolving door of company would present as much as test on her:

Her nieces and nephews. My uncle and father. My sister and mom (who simply had surgical procedure!). Her grandkids. The son of her finest pal. Her pal Anne. Pals from the Council of Growing older. Fellow quilters. Folks from her church.

At one level, there have been 10 of us visiting on the identical time, and it became an absolute social gathering.

I used to be in awe of this girl and what number of lives she has impacted.

If there’s a transparent signal of a life nicely lived, it’s being surrounded by individuals who love you. Gramma has been selfless for a lot of her life, and I used to be amazed and impressed at how many individuals dropped every little thing to come back and spend time along with her, swapping tales and preserving her firm.

Regardless of the circumstances, she nonetheless has an excellent humorousness too:

The primary time she opened her eyes and noticed me, she smiled and mentioned, “I remembered one other story!” She then informed me concerning the time she “borrowed” a automobile, despite the fact that she didn’t have a license but, to drive by the streets of Boston to trace down her boyfriend.

Whereas speaking on the telephone along with her 94 12 months previous brother in legislation, she requested “how are ya, you previous geezer?”

When the physician requested “are you feeling higher immediately?” she replied “higher than WHAT!”

Spending time with Gramma and the entire individuals from completely different components of her life felt like the absolute best use of my time. I’m in love with the group she has round her, and I’m always moved to tears by the love that so many individuals have for her.

This level was pushed additional house by my Gramma’s hospital “neighbor”…

Stay Intentionally

The hospital wherein my Gramma is staying is true subsequent to Walden Pond, the very pond made well-known by Henry David Thoreau in his ebook Walden.

At some point, after visiting Gramma, I took a quiet stroll round its perimeter, watching the sunshine of the setting solar dancing by the bushes.

(The Japanese have a phrase for this too, it’s known as “komorebi”.)

I then learn the signal with Thoreau’s most well-known reflection:

“I went to the woods as a result of I wanted to reside intentionally, to entrance solely the important info of life, and see if I couldn’t be taught what it needed to train, and never, once I got here to die, uncover that I had not lived.”

Thoreau retreated to solitude to find what was most essential to him.

Gramma went the opposite path, prioritizing what’s most essential to her: household, pals, and group.

Two completely different situations, the identical finish end result:

Selecting to reside intentionally.

I don’t have plans on transferring into the woods and dwelling merely, however I do assume I’ve executed my finest to reside extra intentionally these previous few years.

Particularly, re-prioritizing what’s most essential to me too: pals, household, and group.

All We’ve got to Resolve…

A couple of years in the past, Gramma introduced my brother, sister, and I with three of her favourite handmade quilts.

“I used to be going to have these given to you grandkids after I handed away, however I need to give them to you now in order that we are able to take pleasure in this second collectively.”

She took the time to clarify the that means behind every quilt and why they had been chosen for every of us. I’m so grateful she did this, somewhat than ready to listen to about these stunning quilts after she handed.

After I visited Gramma this summer time, I found that she had printed my essay about my grandfather, her husband, who had handed away. I hoped I made Grampy proud, however I spotted I by no means bought to inform him simply how a lot I realized from him earlier than he died.

For that cause, I’m penning this essay now to ensure she is aware of simply how a lot she taught me. I’m so happy with my Gramma and I’m appreciative for having the chance to be taught from her for 40 years (and counting!).

(I bought a textual content from my father yesterday letting me know that he learn this draft to her within the hospital and he or she liked it. Mission achieved!)

I definitely hope Gramma will get higher and is ready to get again house. In spite of everything, she informed her pal Laurie “I’m not executed but!”

However I additionally know that this isn’t as much as us to resolve.

As Gandalf tells Frodo in The Fellowship of the Ring:

“All we’ve got to resolve is what to do with the time that’s given us.”

I hope my Gramma and Thoreau can encourage you to reside extra intentionally:

In the event you’re prepared to place your telephone down and be current with the individuals in entrance of you, life can really feel a lot extra wealthy.
In the event you’re prepared to prioritize what’s really essential as a substitute of the stuff that tries to steal your consideration, you’ll by no means go unsuitable with the alternatives you make.
If you will discover a option to concentrate on the essential individuals in your life, they’ll nonetheless be part of it while you’re 94.

And at last keep in mind, it doesn’t matter what you do immediately, that is the one time this second will occur.

Act accordingly.

-Steve

PS: If you’d like a thought-provoking movie about being current and Ichi-Go Ichi-E, I extremely suggest Wim Wenders’s Excellent Days.

Tags: Fitness, Nerd, Wisdom, Years

94 Years of Knowledge | Nerd Health

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